Getting Started
Sometimes making the decision to divorce takes years.
And then you finally make it.
For a moment, there’s relief.
Until the next question hits:
“Okay…now what?”
My answer is usually simple:
Don’t try to figure out your entire divorce today.
Start by getting organized.
Your First Step Doesn’t Have to Be Filing
There is tremendous value in preparing before you start completing forms.
I often meet clients with shopping bags, folders, screenshots, emails, statements, and paperwork collected from different parts of their lives.
They aren’t unprepared.
They’re overwhelmed.
So we start sorting.
Create Your Divorce Folder
Create one secure location for everything related to your divorce.
Then begin with categories:
Income: Gather recent pay stubs or other proof of income.
Taxes: Locate your last two years of tax returns.
Bank Accounts: Gather statements for checking, savings, and other accounts.
Property: Locate mortgage statements, deeds, property information, and vehicle titles.
Debt: Gather credit card, loan, and line-of-credit statements.
Retirement: Locate statements for 401(k)s, IRAs, pensions, and other retirement accounts.
Insurance: Review health, life, auto, and property insurance.
Monthly Expenses: Begin tracking what it actually costs you to live each month.
That last one can be eye-opening.
Know What You Own—and What You Owe
During a California divorce, both spouses generally must disclose financial information about assets, debts, income, and expenses.
This is one reason getting organized early matters so much.
Don’t wait until you’re facing a deadline to figure out where the retirement statement is.
Start now.
Create Three Lists
Here’s an exercise I love because it immediately reduces overwhelm.
Take a piece of paper and create three columns:
I KNOW
Things you’re confident about.
I NEED TO FIND
Documents or information you’re missing.
I NEED HELP UNDERSTANDING
Questions you need to bring to me, an attorney, accountant, financial advisor, or another appropriate professional.
Suddenly, instead of having 100 thoughts swirling around your head, you have a plan.
Don’t Guess
If you don’t know an account balance, don’t guess.
If you’re unsure how something should be listed, flag it.
If you don’t understand a financial document, ask.
Accuracy matters.
Financial disclosures are an important part of divorce, and incomplete information can create delays and other problems.
How I Help
This is one of my favorite parts of being a Divorce Strategist.
You can come to me saying:
“Karen, I don’t even know where to begin.”
That’s okay.
We’ll begin there.
I’ll help you organize the information, determine what documentation is needed for the forms I’m preparing, identify what’s missing, and build a roadmap for the next steps.
Divorce paperwork feels far less intimidating when you stop looking at it as one giant project.
It’s one document.
One question.
One decision.
One step at a time.
You don’t have to be ready for everything. You just have to be ready to begin.
